“My alien laboratory is missing. Where is it?”

And thus began today’s Mommy Guilt Train.

See, a few weeks ago, getting ready for the electricians to come and cut holes in the walls, we decided to clean the kid’s room. And in doing so, I went crazy and just bagged up tons of toys I knew for a fact he wasn’t playing with.

One of these toys was a Ben 10 Alien Laboratory.

Some of the pieces were missing, some dried up. The truck itself sat on the floor for a year, untouched, gathering dust. I just couldn’t stand it.

In order for you to really understand my son’s need for toys, all in their place, even if they aren’t used, and my dismay of it all, you have to see his closet. Just his closet. Bins and bins of collectibles. Six bins to be exact. Five shelves of rocket ships and airplanes. A desk of Ben 10 characters and two boxes of paper dragons Dude drew and designed himself.

Oh, and I haven’t yet talked about the Dragon collection itself.

So, I didn’t think he would notice if I thinned out bins a bit. Or cleared off some of the floor. I was wrong.

“You destroyed my alien laboratory!”

“Dude, I gave that toy to Goodwill.. you know.. the poor people.”

“I need NEW ALIEN LABORATORY!”

“Dude you never played with it. It sat there on the floor!”

What I forgot, and I can’t believe I forgot this, is that having a thing is just as important as playing with it, in Dude’s world. And you know what? I feel the same way about shoes. I have so many pairs. I forget what I do have, but God FORBID the hubby go in and suggest I do something about them all.

“You are collecting so much crap!”

“This is not crap! These are my SHOES! It’s like an art collection!”

“OKay, these shoes are not art. They are flipflops.”

“Well, they aren’t all art, but you get my meaning.”

“All I get is that I used to have half this closet and I feel I am being run out by shoes you don’t wear.”

So, the fact I tossed some of Dude’s toys to Goodwill while he was at his Dad’s… it’s just filled me with guilt.

I will get over it. But today, right now, this minute, I feel like a bad mommy.